


Carry Me Out To The Garden So I Can Stop The End

by jynx



Series: Whatever Happens Here, We Remain [2]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Ahsoka Tano deserved better, Obi-Wan Kenobi Needs a Hug, Pre-Slash, pre-Codywan - Freeform, the 212th Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-18
Updated: 2019-02-18
Packaged: 2019-10-30 18:52:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,654
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17834198
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jynx/pseuds/jynx
Summary: Plo Koon has a favor to ask Obi-Wan, one he is only too happy to consider granting.





	Carry Me Out To The Garden So I Can Stop The End

**Author's Note:**

> PURE. FUCKING. HEADCANON. TIME.
> 
> Also, well. This is important considering a certain someone will be showing up soon :o
> 
> Title from "The Blue, The Green" by Lonely the Brave

Obi-Wan looked up from his datapad as his comm pinged. Commander Cody, who was hunched over his own pad and reports, looked up as well in confusion. 

"Another engagement, sir?" he asked, doing a very good job hiding the weariness from his voice. A good job, but not quite good enough. They were all tired, exhausted to be honest, from the rapid deployments, but those in command could never show it. Not even around each other, apparently. 

"I doubt it," Obi-Wan said, accepting the comm and leaning back in his chair as the image resolved into a miniature blue version of Master Plo. He smiled at his friend and fellow councilmember. "Hello, Plo. How goes the war on your front?" 

"Tiring," Plo said, voice quietly buzzing through the vocorder of his mask. "I did not comm to speak of the war, however. I had thought to ask maybe a personal favor." 

"Oh?" Obi-Wan asked, curiosity caught. "What type of favor?" 

"There was a young Togruta girl I found on search a few years ago," Plo said. "She is of age to become a Padawan and while I would be overjoyed to take her, I cannot." 

"No?" Obi-Wan asked, trying not to smile. "Is she the little one you sneak down to the creche to check on?" At Plo's nod, Obi-Wan laughed. "Let me guess, a certain someone would accuse you of attachment if you attempted to take her under your wing?" 

"Quite," Plo said, tucking his arms behind his back. "You are a wonderful teacher, Obi-Wan, and she could do quite well under you. I know you've been looking for a new student--" 

"Not seriously," Obi-Wan said with a shrug. He was still torn on the idea, bringing a child out into battle like they would have to, walking the same steps he had walked so long ago. It itched at him. He had fought to keep Anakin safe as long as possible, spending what little political capital he had had with the Council at the time, to go on missions alone and keep his Padawan on Coruscant. The majority of that capital had, to his shame, included a fair bit of blackmail. 

There was a reason Qui-Gon had always had him train with Quinlan Vos and Tholme. The life of a Shadow had been his future, until the Sith. 

"Ahsoka is thirteen," Plo said, his shoulders tight. He wasn't happy. "She will be fourteen soon." 

"We've disbanded that ridiculous rule sending initiates to the Corps," Obi-Wan said. He tried not to be surprised, or feel the long forgotten burn of shame at the mention of her age. The war hadn't been going for long enough for her to have been saved her own terror-filled nights of laying awake praying to the Force for a Master to pick her, for the fear to turn to bitter and impotent anger, to possible self-hate. Plo might have stepped in near her birthday and asked for her to stay, championed her in a way no one had ever championed Obi-Wan. 

"She needs to be taught," Plo said. "She's good with the little ones, but she can learn no more at the Temple." 

"A fighter?" Obi-Wan asked with a smile. 

"She fights from the heart, like another initiate I remember," Plo said, his shoulders easing down. 

"Sir?" Cody asked quietly. 

Obi-Wan glanced at Cody and smiled. "Commander, what would the men think about having a little sister on board? I'm sure we could make arrangements to have her carry messages between us and the 104th--troop movements, reports, council business." 

Plo let out a breath, which sounded odd through his mask, but Cody's face lit up. "A Commander?" he asked. "You could get us her records, let us know how to set up for her?" 

Obi-Wan nodded. He didn't see why not, it would be a good way to let the men work off some stress and their exhaustion. They could find a bunk near enough to Obi-Wan's and make it comfortable for a Togruta, get it ready with everything a Padawan might need, and fill it with welcome. 

"I'll send you everything I have on her," Plo said. 

"I'm sure I have the paperwork around here somewhere for requesting a Padawan," Obi-Wan said. "I'd do it myself but once we're supplied we're being deployed to Christophsis. The sooner, the better, I'm sure?" 

"Wonderful," Plo said. "I'll let Wolffe know. He's been worried about her." 

"Wolffe doesn't worry about anyone," Cody muttered under his breath. 

"Don't speak ill of your brothers," Obi-Wan scolded lightly, trying not to smile. 

"I can speak ill of Wolffe, he's a bastard," Cody said with a wide grin. "He used to terrorize me back when we were cadets." 

"That sounds like a story I'll have to ask him about," Plo said. 

"Ask him about the time he made Rex cry," Cody said, ducking his head down to hide how wide his grin had gotten. It was hardly a secret how Wolffe and his squad--his whole company--considered Plo to be their father figure. Being ratted out like this would be possibly horrifying for the honorable clone. 

He was going to get back something awful at Cody when he least expected it. Obi-Wan would have to keep his mouth shut, not laugh, and set a good example for his new Padawan. 

He and Plo murmured their goodbyes and disconnected the call while Cody sat back in his chair and _beamed_ at him. 

"I take it you approve?" Obi-Wan asked with a smile. 

"I do, sir," Cody said. He looked back at his datapad and coughed politely. "A Commander might make you less likely to do insane things, more likely to take care of yourself." 

Obi-Wan turned back to his own datapad, pulling up the paperwork he would need to request Ahsoka--what was her last name? Did she have one? Oh, good, there was the information from Plo. Ah, Ahsoka Tano. He used the information Plo had sent him to fill out the request form and the start date as Christophsis. That would give Ahsoka enough time to gather her belongings, say her goodbyes, and prepare for her time with the 212th. While Obi-Wan was in charge of System Army Delta, he only kept the 212th around him at all times. Other cruisers and battalions came and went, but his men stayed with him. 

Rarely, if he had to leave them, he ventured only to the 501st. On those occasions he knew his men would be comming their brothers and, if not outright threatening, then demanding they take care of their General. Obi-Wan was always amused at the way Captain Rex would look just the slightest bit hunted during those engagements. 

He and Cody worked in silence--Obi-Wan finishing his request and Cody working on their supply request--until his Commander paused and looked up at him with a frown. 

"What do Togruta like to eat, sir? If she's a growing girl, do we need to take that into consideration?" Cody asked. 

Obi-Wan considered the question for a moment. "Togrutas are carnivores," he said. "Meat, eggs, jerky, go heavy on requests for those for her." 

"Would she still like sweets?" Cody asked, eyes on his datapad. 

Obi-Wan leaned back in his chair and considered. "Gummies," he said. "They'd be good for her teeth, and chocolate is always a nice treat." 

"Of course, sir," Cody murmured, a tiny smile on his face. "Sawbones and Hydrops are probably going to have questions about medical supplies we'd need to stock, and the other men might want to know how we might best make her berth more comfortable." 

"I'll put some information up on the Battalion's server," Obi-Wan said, trying not to burst with pride over these men he was so fiercely protective over. And now he was bringing in a Padawan to this disaster. Was this really the smartest course of action? 

Yes, yes it was. 

He found himself just as excited at the prospect of a Padawan as Cody seemed to be, as his men were surely going to be. How fascinating. 

= 

Obi-Wan was quiet as he watched Ahsoka walk off with Anakin. It had only been three weeks, almost four, and the carrier had been prepared for a Padawan. The men were so excited. Most of the Shinies had latched onto the idea faster than their older brothers, but 'Padawan Fever' had definitely spread throughout the ranks. 

This would destroy them. 

Christophsis was a hard engagement and was testing them in ways none of them had expected. First, Slick had defected to the enemy and cost them supplies they did not have a way of replacing, and lives--Force, the loss of life had been uncomfortable. Obi-Wan had forced himself to move past that, marking down the number of men lost, along with their names, for later. 

Later. 

When they were no longer actively engaged with the enemy and he could make his rounds with the squads who had lost brothers, find out who had lost batchmates and contact those in other companies. Later, when hopefully his men could bury their grief with what slim joy they were able to wrest from this wretched galaxy. 

The joy that Obi-Wan was no longer able to provide them with. 

There was still a small, slim hope that Ahsoka and Anakin would not be compatible and that Obi-Wan would be able to bring Ahsoka back to the cruiser and the home she belonged to. He didn't know if he should hope the whole situation worked out in Anakin's favor, or his own. He sent a comm to Yoda, calmly explaining the situation and the reactions while also subtly asking for an explanation. He deserved one. 

After all the years, and everything he had sacrificed, he deserved an answer. 

No answer came and he had a battle to wage. 

He was angry, reckless, and so entirely done with everyone's bullshit. Yoda's, the Council's, the Galaxy's. He could not simply bury his lightsaber in Loathsome's chest, much as he'd like to, so he stalled for time while Anakin and Ahsoka set about disabling the shield. He played nice, violating who knew how many laws--not that that was anything new. He was a half-trained Shadow, what did anyone think that meant? That he had honor? Hardly. 

He had goals--to keep his men, and himself, alive through any means necessary. Honor was the first thing sacrificed when you entered war. He had learned that at thirteen. Honor was useless. Morals, now, morals kept you and everyone else around you alive and on the right path. Morals let you know that what you were doing was right and what they were doing was wrong--but morals never guaranteed you were going to win. Morals would kill you just as easily as honor. 

Reinforcements arrived and with them--Yoda. 

"Why?" Obi-Wan asked quietly as they watched injured clones being loaded into the L/AATis to be ferried up to the carriers for better medical attention. "You knew I wanted Ahsoka as my Padawan. Anakin has no desire for a Padawan. Why? Why do this?" 

"Learn to let go, Skywalker must," Yoda said, his hands curling around the knob of his gimer stick. "To nurture and care, a teacher does, yes. Let go, they also do." 

"Anakin has yet to let go of _me_ ," Obi-Wan said, steel in his voice. "My having a Padawan would send a clear signal to him that I can no longer clean up his messes for him." 

Yoda hummed quietly, eyes closing part-way. "Attachment, you have," he said. 

Obi-Wan took a step back, startled. "Attachment?" he breathed. In a stronger voice: "To who? What?" 

Yoda's eyes opened and with them was such clarity that Obi-Wan flinched and looked away. He was not attached to his men. He cared for them. He would happily die for them. That was not attachment. That was basic human kindness and respect for a swath of people trapped in circumstances that were beyond their control and yet they met this war head on, with good cheer, with smiles and "Yes, General"s and "Make sure to eat, General"s as they went to their deaths. It was not attachment to respect them. 

"Qualified to teach, you are not," Yoda said. 

"I taught Anakin, did I not?" Obi-Wan hissed, keeping his voice low. There were too many clones milling about them. "The one you all thought unteachable. I taught him." 

"Yes, yes, teach him you did," Yoda said with a nod of his head. "A non-Jedi you taught. Teach a Jedi, you will not." Obi-Wan's eyes widened. "Qui-Gon's ideas you will not spread." 

Obi-Wan took a step back, his back stiff. He could see Anakin and Ahsoka disembarking from a L/AATi and had to make this quick. He knew what Yoda was getting at--Qui-Gon was a Gray Jedi and with that came a certain amount of defiance and casual disregard for the rules. Attitudes that Yoda, and the Council, strongly discouraged. "Qui-Gon Jinn was a great man, but he was deeply flawed, Master Yoda. His teachings were flawed." _Your teachings were flawed_. "I would never pass them onto a child. I would never pass on the lessons I learned from him to another young one." 

Yoda's eyes narrowed--in anger. _Careful,_ Obi-Wan wanted to taunt, _anger leads to hate and hate leads to the Dark Side._ He kept his mouth shut as he turned to Anakin. His heart sank, watching as Anakin and Ahsoka moved together. They were bickering but they moved in sync, already working on a bond they didn't understand. 

It was too late for him. 

Why was it always too late for him? 

= 

He walked the halls of the cruiser, tired and heart-sore, avoiding the looks on his men's faces. Expectation, confusion, hurt, sadness, resignation--it ran the gamut. Obi-Wan had yet to run into Cody, but he had inadvertently walked into Hydrops. 

His medical second-in-command had looked angry as he thrust the datapad at him. It was a list of questions from Kix in the 501st about Togrutas. Obi-Wan had tried to smile as he explained that Master Yoda had decided Anakin would make a better master for their Padawan. At the thunderstorm appearing on Hydrops's face, Obi-Wan had panicked and reached for a story, spinning a wonderful tale of the Council deciding that because Obi-Wan had so many duties as a Council member, and that he was practically running the war with Master Windu in terms of strategy, that it would be unfair to any young one to have him as a Master. He would not, unfortunately, be allowed to teach while the war was ongoing. 

Hydrops had looked even more outraged, unfortunately, and stomped off before Obi-Wan could stop him. 

That had been hours ago. 

Now he was heading back to his room to work on after-action reports, something involved and mindless, while he headed to the next engagement. Anakin and Ahsoka were headed to Teth and, and… He rubbed at his eyes, distracted for a moment by the burning ache in them. Force, he must be tired. 

He'd brew a nice cup of tea first, he decided. Tea, then reports. 

He entered his room and paused, seeing the box on the desk. Right. Plo had told him that Ahsoka was interested in jar'kai so he had put in the request for the right training equipment and the second practice blades for both of them. He would have to send it back to the Temple. There was no point in keeping it, not with Anakin being her teacher. A waste, since Anakin was still so blastershy around jar'kai. Ahsoka would never fully learn the style she had chosen as her own. She would fall into line with Anakin's style, most likely, maybe Ataru if Anakin could remember how to teach it. 

Obi-Wan picked up the box and set it on the floor, rubbing at his nose. He must have caught some dust from the planet, his nose itched something terrible. That must be why his eyes hurt too. Some sort of allergic reaction, maybe? He wasn't due for any histamine shots for a while, but stranger things had happened. 

Like Anakin agreeing to teach a Padawan. 

_Force, Kenobi, get a grip._

Obi-Wan grabbed his datapad and rubbed at his eyes again, sniffing. Allergies. How vile and uncivilized. They had done away with them ages ago and yet here he was, clearly still suffering from them. He had work to do! 

His eyes, his cursed eyes, would not stop watering. 

He took a breath, only it was hitched and he coughed--startled--before drawing in a shaky breath. It felt like a hand was crushing his lungs! He didn't know what was wrong. Was he sick? He could summons Hydrops if Sawbones was busy, but he didn't want to be a bother. He sniffed, startled as hot liquid hit his hands. His eyes? What? 

"Sir?" Cody called as he walked into Obi-Wan's quarters, sounding tired and out of patience. "There's some rumors flying about and I wanted to know--are you all right?!" 

Obi-Wan blinked rapidly, rubbing at his eyes. "I don't know?" he said, his voice sounding awful. He sounded all choked up and hoarse, and his throat felt almost too thick to speak through. Had he caught something? Had there been a biological bug on Christophsis that only impacted Jedi? 

A cough and then a handkerchief was being passed his way. "Sir, you're upset," Cody said. "Considering what I heard, I can understand that." 

"What have you heard?" Obi-Wan asked, rubbing his eyes dry with the thin cloth. 

"That the Council said we couldn't have our little Commander," Cody said. "Blamed it on you being so busy." 

"No," Obi-Wan said softly. "Well, yes, but no." At Cody's confused look Obi-Wan sighed. "I'm not a good Jedi," he said with a tiny smile. "I'm almost positive I'm only on the council so they can keep an eye on me. Master Yoda, he--well, I'm pretty sure he blames me for my Master's death and he refuses to let me ever have a Padawan." 

"You had one, though," Cody said. "General Skywalker." 

Obi-Wan tried to smile and ended up looking down at the handkerchief and fiddling with it. "He wasn't to be trained at all until I made them train him. He wasn't a Jedi so they didn't quite care enough to fight me on it. But a child of the Temple? Master Yoda blocked me." 

"So, no little Commander," Cody said slowly. 

"No," Obi-Wan said faintly, bringing the fabric to his eyes and rubbing at them. "I'm sorry I let all of you get your hopes up. I didn't think they would say no. They so rarely do." 

Cody snagged the other chair at the desk over with his foot and sat down heavily in it, grabbing at Obi-Wan's elbow. "Sir," he said with an uncharacteristically soft voice, "you're the best Jedi there is. You're _our_ Jedi and that makes you the best. We, all of the 212th, we see you caring for us and know you'd do more if you could. You'd be an excellent teacher for a little Commander." A pause and a sly smile as Cody shook his elbow slightly. "You know Skywalker won't be able to teach her without you, right? It might not be the same, sir, but you can make it work. _We_ can make it work." 

Obi-Wan blinked at his Commander and ducked his head to hide a flush. He knew he was fond of his men--he would fight Yoda's accusation of attachment with everything inside him--but there was something about the way Cody's hand on his elbow and his stalwart faith in him made him feel. It was a warm and shivery feeling, like he had drunk too much tea with bourbon, only without the intoxication. He wanted to lean into Cody, to touch his hair and his-- 

_Slow down, Kenobi. It's just admiration, it's just… Oh hells, it's lust, you filthy creep, admit to it. You're lusting after your Commander who is just trying to offer you some comfort after an awful day._

_I wish it was a different type of comfort…_

Obi-Wan cleared his throat, horrified at his own thoughts, and nodded at Cody. "Yes, well, Anakin is the epitome of a walking disaster, isn't he? It's a wonderful thing he has your brothers to keep an eye on him. Who knows what he's get up to without supervision?" 

"Probably an unsanctioned marriage," Cody deadpanned. 

"Oh it's far too late for that," Obi-Wan said airily, waving a hand through the air. "He did that before you lot took us all firmly in hand." _I wish_ you'd _take_ me _in hand…_

Cody bit his lip, forcing down his smile, and Obi-Wan counted it as a victory. He did not, however, count Cody standing up and putting his chair back as a victory. "I'll go inform the men," he said, "so they won't bother you about the little Commander. We'll gather the items we got for her, and the extra supplies, and box them up for the 501st." 

Obi-Wan slumped in his chair. Hells. "I have to tell Plo." 

"I can let Wolffe know?" Cody offered, a frown on his face. "I know they were just as excited as we were." 

"Plo is going to be rightfully upset," Obi-Wan said with a sigh, rubbing at his eyes. "Force take us, I hope this works out for the best." 

"It will, sir," Cory said with a small smile. "You just have to have faith." 

That startled a laugh out of Obi-Wan as his Commander winked at him and left his rooms. Faith? His no-nonsense Commander was telling him to have faith. Cheeky. It had the desired effect, however, in that it left Obi-Wan with a smile. 


End file.
